Hong Kong People Can't Write

Right now, there's two jobs that I find the easiest. One is a bank teller/manager (easy hours, since those damn places seem closed most of the time), and the other is a Hong Kong writer.

Just listen to any Cantopop song. The tune sounds familiar? That's right, you heard it before in Japan. Almost half (and I'm being conservative!) of Cantopop music has been ripped off from J-pop. (Although the Taiwanese could be just as guilty - I lost my appetite in a restaurant when subjected to a Taiwanese boy group's rendition of Backstreet Boy's Get Down.) So that leaves only the lyrics, which aren't really "written" per se either, considering how they are often formulaic phrases bunched together.

And it's not just pop music either. My mom is now watching a drama, which involves this cop whose father was murdered. He makes a call in his cell phone, one of those old-school brick-sized Motorolas that his late father used. The cell phone fizzes out, but surprisingly connects to the other line to another man. The man is his long-dead father! It turns out the same old cell phone connected back in time years ago before the cop's father was killed.

The premise sounds familiar? Yup, you got it! It was the pretty much the story of a 2000 US movie called Frequency, starring Dennis Quaid and James "Jesus" Caviezel, except a few detail swaps here and there. How sad that Hong Kong media is so creatively challenged.

I guess I shouldn't be so hard on Hong Kong writers. After all, that's not the only show that's on Fairchild TV (the predominant Cantonese TV channel) right now, and that show may not be a good representation of all the fine programs Hong Kong has to offer. Take, for example, another prime time drama airing on Fairchild right now.

Oh wait, it's a dubbed-over Korean show.

The Weather's Going To Hell

This week suddenly got really cold and rainy. It totally caught me by surprise, even though I've lived here longer than anywhere else. That's what two years in Miami will do to you.

You also get the secondhand habit of scouting the beach in English bay for topless sunbathers. It's a futile search, as Wreck Beach near at my old university is the only place I know where people can sunbathe naked. Unfortunately, only ugly people and walruses (natural and human) bask there au naturel.

Well, it doesn't matter anymore, as it's now so cold that the men experience shrinkage to the point of androgyny, and the women can cut themselves out of the ice with their nipples. I wonder what winter will be like? Can I finally snowboard after two years of snow deficiency?

Who am I to bitch about the weather? I totally lucked out by choosing not to stay in Miami for another month. Even though Katrina was only a Category 1 hurricane when it made its direct hit in Miami, a lot of trees that I know around my old place and my school are now down. Miami lucked out on FOUR hurricanes last year, but it did not get so lucky this year, and the hurricane season is still beginning.

Speaking of unlucky, those poor folks down in New Orleans are underwater. The city has turned from a place where women flash their plastic boobs for plastic beads once a year, to a place where women use their plastic boobs as a personal floatation device. If you want to see pics of The Big Easy (not so easy anymore, sadly) before it became an aquarium, check out my Mardi Gras pics in my Yahoo! Album.

As for photos, here's what it looks like out my window right now. Although the weather is depressing, the fog lends an eerie and mysterious beauty to the scenery. Perhaps the reason why is because our minds see the white fog as a blank slate, and our imaginations immediately attempt to fill in what could be lying beyond.

I'm grabbing a blanket and thanking God that I'm too high up to be underwater.

TADA!

So what do you do when the the blog title and description text are stubbornly immune to any formatting or positioning changes that you throw at it? You do what you'd do with any persistently unmitigable problem.

You say "Fuck it!"

I totally gave up on the title and description text, and did away with them altogether. Instead, I used a title image and positioned it with a table. The solution was so simple that it really showed that my one-track mind was probably as stubborn as the title text. I can't believe I only figured it out the next day.

So I hope you like it. This was the result of an entire work week of Photoshopping by cropping, saving, and uploading hundreds of images for the header, as well as making the wallpaper. Add that to the countless trial and error with this clunky template.

My next project will be an "image viewer". When you click on an image, a pop-up window of convenient size will appear with the larger image, and the window will close once you click on it. My template page is getting totally cluttered up with CSS and JavaScript, so I got to figure out how to accomodate that.

Okay, geek talk aside, here's another Japan pic!

Horrifically overpriced Engrish brand store.

Major Setback

If it weren't for this, I would've been able unveil my new blog look, which I'm sure you all would've liked.

Everything was done nicely according to the blog PREVIEW feature. But when I actually saved the new template and loaded this blog up, I was horrified to see that the entire header - blog title, description, and all - has disappeared!!!

I tried everything in my knowledge of CSS and HTML to remedy the situation, but to no avail. The blog title and description was stubbornly resistant to any change that I implement, and consistently ended up foolishly stuck against the left edge of the screen. With such discrepancy between the previewed blog and the actual, republished blog, the blog preview feature is entirely useless.

It's so frustrating right now, that I'm considering moving to another (FREE) blog service. If any of you know of one that can upload images and offer you full control over how your blog looks (including CSS and JavaScript), please let me know. Are Xanga or MySpace any good?

And I hope you're fucking reading this, Blogger.com!!!

This Blog Needs A Facelift...And Boob Job

This blog is starting to look boring.

The template is your standard run-of-the-mill, which looks OK and well organized, but it's rather dismaying that 100,000 people have the same blog design. A blog should be like your room. It should reflect all your neuroses, deficiencies as a child, perversions, dementia, and the like - except people can get a peek without having to deal with them in person.

So I'm going to be busy the next week, but expect a blog design that better demonstrates my disfigured mental state in the near future.

For now, here's another pic from my recent visit to Japan. It's a store in Takeshita Street, a popular shopping place for young people in the Harajuku district, even though it's as narrow as an allyway. This is a store where the cosplay freaks buy their costumes to hang out in front of the Meiji Shrine on Sundays. What can I say, the extra attention from tourists is a relief from the stress of living with their parents and not getting laid.

Oops

Forgot to post a pic from my week in Japan as promised. Here it is. It's at a condom store chain called Condomania. Not the best place to have when the country's birth rate is falling, but seeing all the pregnant ladies and all the little rugrats they keep pooping out during my outings in Tokyo, it's really hard to tell.

Update: Due to the confusion from the responses I got, this is a clarification. I didn't actually see the pregnant ladies poop out their rugrats during my outing, I just saw the rugrats, which have been pooped out beforehand. That would be a fucked up city if the streets were littered with women giving birth. Thank you for your attention.

Library Named For An Ass + Job With Boobs = T&A!

Just a couple of quick ones. So seven colleges/universities and a city are competing to be the site of the Bush Presidential Library. Now do you really need such large facilities to hold every edition of Clifford The Big Red Dog and Where's Waldo? (Oh great, now the FBI is going to monitor this blog.)

On a lighter note, I've got this "job search agent" going on with the careers website of Johnson & Johnson. I basically enter my preferences, and the agent e-mails jobs matching those preferences. Well, this unusual job came up, for a sales rep position for one of J&J's subsidiaries, Breast Care. I kid you not, HERE it is!

It makes perfect sense, as with all the fake boobs in LA, there would be certainly be a large market for breast care products, but how would I interview for such a position?

"Good morning, sir. I'm the man you're looking for because I have a profound and initmate knowledge of breasts. (Whilst making squeezing gesture with both hands.)"

I Felt The Earth Move Under My Feet

Today is the day that I leave Japan. Well, it's technically yesterday now that I've crossed the International Date Line back to Vancouver, but the way I see it, it's just one continuous, crazy day. So I woke up for the last time in Japan at my girlfriend's house, and I was checking my e-mail on my computer when I suddenly felt the seat rocking back and forth.

Now usually this is a false alarm because I have a big ass and that feeling could just be the blood vessels throbbing under the tremendous pressure of keeping my upper body up, whilst conducting the precious blood supply to my legs. But after noticing the light sway back and forth, as well as my girlfriend's dad feeling the swaying, I realize that this is the real deal. The whole building rocked for a few minutes after that.

The earthquake didn't even finish before the report flashed up on the TV a minute later. It occurred off the water from Sendai in the north, at a scale of 6. Still, I shouldn't be surprised at the speed of the report, nor the fact that no one was killed, since Japan probably has to deal with this all the time and has gotten good at it.

My girlfriend was, of course, freaking out a bit because this could mean delay in the train systems that will take me to Narita Airport, and the more horrifying prospect of me missing my flight and staying at her home longer. Fortunately, only some Shinkansens were stopped in the north, and I was able to make my flight on time.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be here at my home typing this, nor would I be able to post some pics. I'll try to post some photos from Japan in my next few posts as well.

Why take it out on the manager?

Konnichiwa From J-Land

As some of you may know, I'm taking a week in Japan to visit some friends, especially former AET's and Johnny. I've been trying to make the most of these few days (which always seem even fewer when you're having a good time), so I haven't had enough time to post here. I finally have some breathing time today to make a post, and I'll be going home soon.

The heat and humidity have been unbearable most of the time, and I wonder how the hell I managed to live and "work" here for three years. I've spent most of my time here going to places and eating the foods that I miss. (Okay, more like the latter!) It's too bad I didn't bring my USB cable, so I have no way of uploading any of the pics that I took. I'll post some pics next time.

For all you folks at home, enjoy your vacation from me while it lasts.

Back In VanCity

Moving is hell.

After the hectic migration of cardboard boxes, I'd thought the remaining tasks of packing up the suitcases and cleaning the place would be relatively nothing, and could be completed in a couple of days. WRONG.

Well, it could be done, but provided I didn't sleep for the next 48 hours. It was horribly stressful, and far crazier than the rush to drop off my packages at the FedEx branch. What made it worse was that I wouldn't think it was a problem to fit in a mini-party with some of my friends to help me finish off all the perishable food in my fridge.

When it comes to packing up, you'll never have any idea of how much crap you have, even though you've barely bought anything for the past two years. My suitcases have never been so close to exploding, and if the TSA agents ever open them, it would certainly blow up in their face, making me a terrorist.

So when I FINALLY got everything together, me and my buddy (who's helping me move and taking me to the airport whether he likes it or not, because I helped him move, including rolling his fully-assembled bed into the elevator and up 18 floors) went to Coconut Grove for a drink with a whole bunch of other friends I have to say goodbye to. I was initially planning to crash at my buddy's place, but what the hell, I can sleep off my entire flight.

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I wake up in my bed, and stretched my arms out, and was surprised that my arms still have not extended beyond my futon bed. Did my futon just double in size? Then the epiphany that I was on a queen-size bed with a spring mattress faded in like a developing Polaroid photo. Even though I arrived not long in the afternoon yesterday, and had already spent half the day back home, it still felt like I woke up from a long dream, a dream involved hurricanes, beaches filled with people sexy and morbidly obese, and nightclubs. Oh yeah, and school.

Sorry for not putting an entry here for so long. It's taken me all week to find all the cables, USB hub, and other crap for my computer scattered amongst my luggage.

The first photo I take back home. Our house cat whom I affectionately call "Fat Bitch".