Finally Some Sun!
HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF CRAP!! A HYDROGEN BOMB JUST DETONATED OVER MY CITY!!!!
WHAT THE...!? It's just sitting up there...what is it?? I think I remember... A huge-ass meteor? No, it's not falling. An alien spaceship? Probably not...it should've been gone to take Tom Cruise back to his home planet. Wait a minute, I think I remember! It's... It's...what did they call it? Ah yes, THE SUN!!! Holy crap it's finally out!! Sorry about that false alarm, to Christian and non-Christian people alike.
It's been piss-raining for more than a month. There is an old French expression, which I came across in the French dictionary while looking for names for private parts when I was an elementary student. How did it go again? Ah, yes. Il pleut come une vache qui pisse. Which literally means "It's raining like a pissing cow."
Yes, that pretty much described last month's weather. In fact, we broke a record for the most rainfall in a month, and would have broken a 50-year-old record for most consecutive days of rainfall, had it not been interrupted by a couple of hours-long sunny breaks. Way to go, God.
Well, You can at least make it up to us by generously providing us more of this lovely weather, so we and the corpses of all the drowned wildlife have a chance to dry out. Yes, I know it means the nights will be colder and the dry wind will bite harder, but that's why You created lip balm, right? Well, that and for the purpose of looking for cute girls with chapped lips (on their MOUTH, you perv!), and offering them the lip balm on your own lips because you forgot to bring the rest of the stuff with you.
Oh look at me, I'm mumbling to God now.
WHAT THE...!? It's just sitting up there...what is it?? I think I remember... A huge-ass meteor? No, it's not falling. An alien spaceship? Probably not...it should've been gone to take Tom Cruise back to his home planet. Wait a minute, I think I remember! It's... It's...what did they call it? Ah yes, THE SUN!!! Holy crap it's finally out!! Sorry about that false alarm, to Christian and non-Christian people alike.
It's been piss-raining for more than a month. There is an old French expression, which I came across in the French dictionary while looking for names for private parts when I was an elementary student. How did it go again? Ah, yes. Il pleut come une vache qui pisse. Which literally means "It's raining like a pissing cow."
Yes, that pretty much described last month's weather. In fact, we broke a record for the most rainfall in a month, and would have broken a 50-year-old record for most consecutive days of rainfall, had it not been interrupted by a couple of hours-long sunny breaks. Way to go, God.
Well, You can at least make it up to us by generously providing us more of this lovely weather, so we and the corpses of all the drowned wildlife have a chance to dry out. Yes, I know it means the nights will be colder and the dry wind will bite harder, but that's why You created lip balm, right? Well, that and for the purpose of looking for cute girls with chapped lips (on their MOUTH, you perv!), and offering them the lip balm on your own lips because you forgot to bring the rest of the stuff with you.
Oh look at me, I'm mumbling to God now.
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 1:36 PM
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