Mr. Fruity Head
Okay, now for my gripe of the week.
Whenever I wash my hair, I have to use a bit more conditioner than shampoo. It just has to be that way. So naturally, since I've purchased the same brand and volume of shampoo and conditioner, I run out of conditioner first. So now that I'm empty on conditioner, I've decided to buy a larger volume of conditioner to adapt to my disproportionate use of shampoo and conditioner.
The particular brand that I use is Herbal Essences®, because I like the nice floral smell. Yes it's girly, but I'm secure enough about my heterosexuality to use it. Unfortunately, the availability of this particular brand in larger quantities is quite limited, and with my hair and scalp becoming quite arid, I'm in desperate need of conditioner. Specifically, the only Herbal Essences conditioner available in larger size at Real Canadian Superstore (where I also have to buy groceries) is their Fruit Fusions® sub-brand...in pomegranate-lychee-persimmon blended "flavor". Not only does this shit smell fruity, but I swear it smells like strawberry Jell-O mix! Having no other choice because I don't want to make another trip elsewhere in this shitty weather we're having lately, I mustered my aforementioned heterosexual security to put up with being a fruity-head for half a year.
So should I blame Clairol for rewarding my brand loyalty for their Herbal Essences hair products with a more vicious affront on my masculinity through even more effeminating aromas? NO! I know my usual shampoo aroma exists in a larger size. I place the blame squarely on the retailer - Real Canadian Superstore. If you're a real fucking superstore (and probably not even Canadian, since it's likely some rich US motherfucker bought you out), you'd make more Stock-Keeping Units (SKU's) of Herbal Essences available. And even if shelf space is scarce (which is highly laughable considering your 10-hectare premises), you have completely neglected the male market in your selection of SKU's to put for sale. If it weren't for people with my degree of tolerance, you'd have lost half your shampoo/conditioner customers already!
And if you ever dare come up with a conditioner that smells like Jell-O Pudding Pops, I'm going to draw the line.
Whenever I wash my hair, I have to use a bit more conditioner than shampoo. It just has to be that way. So naturally, since I've purchased the same brand and volume of shampoo and conditioner, I run out of conditioner first. So now that I'm empty on conditioner, I've decided to buy a larger volume of conditioner to adapt to my disproportionate use of shampoo and conditioner.
The particular brand that I use is Herbal Essences®, because I like the nice floral smell. Yes it's girly, but I'm secure enough about my heterosexuality to use it. Unfortunately, the availability of this particular brand in larger quantities is quite limited, and with my hair and scalp becoming quite arid, I'm in desperate need of conditioner. Specifically, the only Herbal Essences conditioner available in larger size at Real Canadian Superstore (where I also have to buy groceries) is their Fruit Fusions® sub-brand...in pomegranate-lychee-persimmon blended "flavor". Not only does this shit smell fruity, but I swear it smells like strawberry Jell-O mix! Having no other choice because I don't want to make another trip elsewhere in this shitty weather we're having lately, I mustered my aforementioned heterosexual security to put up with being a fruity-head for half a year.
So should I blame Clairol for rewarding my brand loyalty for their Herbal Essences hair products with a more vicious affront on my masculinity through even more effeminating aromas? NO! I know my usual shampoo aroma exists in a larger size. I place the blame squarely on the retailer - Real Canadian Superstore. If you're a real fucking superstore (and probably not even Canadian, since it's likely some rich US motherfucker bought you out), you'd make more Stock-Keeping Units (SKU's) of Herbal Essences available. And even if shelf space is scarce (which is highly laughable considering your 10-hectare premises), you have completely neglected the male market in your selection of SKU's to put for sale. If it weren't for people with my degree of tolerance, you'd have lost half your shampoo/conditioner customers already!
And if you ever dare come up with a conditioner that smells like Jell-O Pudding Pops, I'm going to draw the line.
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 2:22 PM
3 Comments:
that does it. i'm going to smell your hair next time i see you, heehee.
You do know that I'm going to make fun of you if I see you again.
oh man.i have always looked for shampoo/conditioner that smelled like stawberry jello..thanks for pointing me in the right directioN!!!
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