Getting Paralyzed For Jesus, The Un-PC Way!
The time draws near, when we will celebrate the day that Our Saviour came upon us and gave our economy a boost.
And so, in preparation this year, I decided to take the opportunity to put up Christmas lights for the first time, now that I'm finally home and the snow has melted enough to make it safe. Well, as safe as it can possibly be when you have to put up the lights along the eaves of the patio roof, which perilously overhangs far beyond the patio railing, so that I risk quadriplegia or death leaning over to put it up. In anticipation for that horrid possibility, I put my cellphone in my pocket so I could dial 911 if it does happen. Unfortunately, that plan dangerously relies on the fact that I must be conscious and have sufficient command of my upper limbs to take out the phone and dial it.
But thank God, I was able to put up the lights with only a sliver from the side of the house as injury. And with that, I am in a festive mood. I'll be wishing a lot of people a Merry Christmas!
What the fuck? I can't say that anymore? I have to say, "Happy Holidays" now?
That's right. The Political Correctness (PC) assholes, in the US and even Canada, have finally found another pathetic opportunity to justify their meaningless existence (or in some cases, overpaid jobs). In order to avoid offending any non-Christians, they are enforcing "Happy Holidays".
That's just wrong.
By implementing a catch-all phrase like "Happy Holidays", we are not appeasing non-Christians, we are ignoring their culture by aggregating everyone into one big group, exacerbating the assimilation of the melting pot's occupants into one homogeneous, crass horde. In fact, using "Happy Holidays" is a great way to cop out of recognizing cultural diversity, a responsibility borne by all those fortunate enough with the privilege of living in a multicultural society.
So to all Christians, "Merry Christmas". To all Jews, "Happy Hanukkah". To those with African roots, "Happy Kwanzaa". To all Muslims, Buddhists, Zoroastrians, and Hindus...uh, "Have A Nice Day." To atheists, "Happy Sunday". And to PC puritans, "Fuck You and Merry-Freakin'-Christmas anyway!"
Incidentally, if you are Muslim and want something to celebrate during these holidays, you might want to try what the people at Muslim Christmas did. Yes, it does sound a bit awkward, and yes, those people are Muslim too. Maybe I'll buy one of their T-shirts and watch all the awkward expressions pour in when I sport it around. Oh great, now I have a headache from using all those big words in that above paragraph.
That's right, putting up lights at death-defying altitudes wouldn't kill me, but using complicated vocabluary will.
And so, in preparation this year, I decided to take the opportunity to put up Christmas lights for the first time, now that I'm finally home and the snow has melted enough to make it safe. Well, as safe as it can possibly be when you have to put up the lights along the eaves of the patio roof, which perilously overhangs far beyond the patio railing, so that I risk quadriplegia or death leaning over to put it up. In anticipation for that horrid possibility, I put my cellphone in my pocket so I could dial 911 if it does happen. Unfortunately, that plan dangerously relies on the fact that I must be conscious and have sufficient command of my upper limbs to take out the phone and dial it.
But thank God, I was able to put up the lights with only a sliver from the side of the house as injury. And with that, I am in a festive mood. I'll be wishing a lot of people a Merry Christmas!
What the fuck? I can't say that anymore? I have to say, "Happy Holidays" now?
That's right. The Political Correctness (PC) assholes, in the US and even Canada, have finally found another pathetic opportunity to justify their meaningless existence (or in some cases, overpaid jobs). In order to avoid offending any non-Christians, they are enforcing "Happy Holidays".
That's just wrong.
By implementing a catch-all phrase like "Happy Holidays", we are not appeasing non-Christians, we are ignoring their culture by aggregating everyone into one big group, exacerbating the assimilation of the melting pot's occupants into one homogeneous, crass horde. In fact, using "Happy Holidays" is a great way to cop out of recognizing cultural diversity, a responsibility borne by all those fortunate enough with the privilege of living in a multicultural society.
So to all Christians, "Merry Christmas". To all Jews, "Happy Hanukkah". To those with African roots, "Happy Kwanzaa". To all Muslims, Buddhists, Zoroastrians, and Hindus...uh, "Have A Nice Day." To atheists, "Happy Sunday". And to PC puritans, "Fuck You and Merry-Freakin'-Christmas anyway!"
Incidentally, if you are Muslim and want something to celebrate during these holidays, you might want to try what the people at Muslim Christmas did. Yes, it does sound a bit awkward, and yes, those people are Muslim too. Maybe I'll buy one of their T-shirts and watch all the awkward expressions pour in when I sport it around. Oh great, now I have a headache from using all those big words in that above paragraph.
That's right, putting up lights at death-defying altitudes wouldn't kill me, but using complicated vocabluary will.
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 4:20 PM
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