Empress Fat Bitch Strikes Back
That fat, vicious, mangy little bitch!
If she was a person, she'd probably be some vengeful Chinese empress dowager who poisoned her way to the throne and had her way with any court officals that disagreed with her before turning them to eunuchs. Or some trailer park ho that slashes your tires and eats your kids because you shone your headlights into her portable abode while she was trying to pass out drunk in her own vomit.
Alright, she's still a cat, but she can do a hell of a lot of damage. So I left a container of kitty treats on top of the kitchen counter, where she's not supposed to be able to go. Not only did she manage to get up ther during her nightly prowl, she also managed to haul the container of kitty treats back to her secret hideout under my dad's desk. As the teeth puncture marks on the container indicate, she tried her very best to open it, and wasn't able to do so. In retribution, she vented her frustration on the nearby phone cables.
Somehow, she knew that an A/C power cable is more difficult and expensive to replace than a phone line cable. Somehow, she knew that the A/C power cable supplies power to the main phone, which is relied upon by the peripheral phone upstairs. Somehow, she knew that if she took out that main phone, she would also take out the phone upstairs, and thus killing two birds with one stone. Somehow, she knew that she'd still manage to emerge unharmed from chewing through a power cable, quite unlike that poor cat in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Or maybe she didn't, in which case, she is now down to eight lives. The cunning bitch has also gained my dad's affection to avoid punishment. She plays politics very well, but I vow to hatch a plot to stop that diabolical cat!
After I cuddle that little cutesy wootsy schnookums....
If she was a person, she'd probably be some vengeful Chinese empress dowager who poisoned her way to the throne and had her way with any court officals that disagreed with her before turning them to eunuchs. Or some trailer park ho that slashes your tires and eats your kids because you shone your headlights into her portable abode while she was trying to pass out drunk in her own vomit.
Alright, she's still a cat, but she can do a hell of a lot of damage. So I left a container of kitty treats on top of the kitchen counter, where she's not supposed to be able to go. Not only did she manage to get up ther during her nightly prowl, she also managed to haul the container of kitty treats back to her secret hideout under my dad's desk. As the teeth puncture marks on the container indicate, she tried her very best to open it, and wasn't able to do so. In retribution, she vented her frustration on the nearby phone cables.
Somehow, she knew that an A/C power cable is more difficult and expensive to replace than a phone line cable. Somehow, she knew that the A/C power cable supplies power to the main phone, which is relied upon by the peripheral phone upstairs. Somehow, she knew that if she took out that main phone, she would also take out the phone upstairs, and thus killing two birds with one stone. Somehow, she knew that she'd still manage to emerge unharmed from chewing through a power cable, quite unlike that poor cat in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Or maybe she didn't, in which case, she is now down to eight lives. The cunning bitch has also gained my dad's affection to avoid punishment. She plays politics very well, but I vow to hatch a plot to stop that diabolical cat!
After I cuddle that little cutesy wootsy schnookums....
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 1:10 PM
2 Comments:
If you can't find the A/C adaptor at the store, try going to the manufacturer's website.
No, we fed her as normal, but on account of her being so lazy, all that food ends up being turned to adipose tissue rather than burned up.
Yes, she's going to be the turkey...muhahahaha!
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