Broadway Sucks
No, make that stupid people suck.
I had to drive to the Certified General Accountants office for an information session, on that 10.5km red wave called Broadway St. Now, I mean "red wave" because of that huge line of cars with their brake lights on, because of the huge line of traffic lights that are red. This reminded me why I usually go through the trouble of waiting three times for the bus to get there. Let the bus driver absorb the stress of going through that gauntlet of death.
But today, I figured I'd make an exception because I'm only going to be there from around 1-4PM, so everyone would be at work rather than on the road. I was wrong. Wrong about how good this country's economy was, and severely underestimating the unemployment rate, and thus the amount of traffic on the road. (If it ain't a 9-5 job, it ain't a REAL job!)
If you're ever driving on any major road to go anywhere near downtown, you must be on a constant lookout for stupid people. Most of them are in vehicles, such as the asshole who cuts you off, in a big fucking hurry to stop at the red light, or the guy that suddenly peels out of the parking lot known as the right lane. Another bunch of stupid drivers include those in pickup trucks; I have yet to meet one that doesn't drive like a redneck dick because they think they're invincible in those hulking things, even when they pit themselves against a bus or an 18-wheeler. There's also the sterotypical (yet true) elderly that creeps at 20 km/h on a 60 km/h road. The elderly should be respected as people, and be treated as a deadly hazard on the road which should be dealt with likewise.
The only thing worse than driving in Broadway is parking in Broadway, especially when you're forced to drive a chunky SUV like I did. I had to give up an otherwise perfect spot because the back is too wide to parallel park, like a fatass person trying to cut in front of a line-up. Good thing I finally found a 2-hour parking spot in front of a church in the neighborhood. THANK GOD!
So on my way back home, I thought I'd cut through downtown to get home via Hastings St. Unfortunately, not only do stupid people drive vehicles there, but they also walk the streets. In fact, the only thing worse than a stupid pedestrian is a stupid stealth pedestrian, who flies across the road dressed in invisible black at night, like some retarded ninja who thinks it'll benefit the clan to die a meaningless and fruitless death. But this is the daytime, so among the stupid pedestrians are foreigners, such as those on Robson St. God, they think that just because they're tourists or cab drivers from another country, it means that Canadian laws don't apply to them.
So managing to survive all the stupidity on Hastings, I now have to put up with the stupidity on the Barnet Highway. It's not only a highway with pretty scenery because it follows the coast of the Burrard Inlet and its surrounding green mountains, but also because of all the pretty memorial bouquets and wreaths, marking the place of death of all the stupid people who thought they'd get to where they want sooner if they floored it through the curves. This prompted my nickname for the Barnet Highway - "The Drive-Thru Cemetary". Unfortunately, they cleaned up all the markers because too many people got sick of the feeling of driving through a cemetary, so now there is nothing left to remind stupid people to slow down to a speed that is anywhere near the speed limit. In fact, seeing a van or an SUV pull off a two-wheeler isn't that an atypical sight there.
Well, that's enough bitching to last the next few months. I may have to go downtown every now and then, but from now on, there's no way I'm ever going to drive down Broadway if I deem it unneccessary.
It's not like I have a choice, since I can't take my car out until I've peeled off all the foreigners from my front bumper.
I had to drive to the Certified General Accountants office for an information session, on that 10.5km red wave called Broadway St. Now, I mean "red wave" because of that huge line of cars with their brake lights on, because of the huge line of traffic lights that are red. This reminded me why I usually go through the trouble of waiting three times for the bus to get there. Let the bus driver absorb the stress of going through that gauntlet of death.
But today, I figured I'd make an exception because I'm only going to be there from around 1-4PM, so everyone would be at work rather than on the road. I was wrong. Wrong about how good this country's economy was, and severely underestimating the unemployment rate, and thus the amount of traffic on the road. (If it ain't a 9-5 job, it ain't a REAL job!)
If you're ever driving on any major road to go anywhere near downtown, you must be on a constant lookout for stupid people. Most of them are in vehicles, such as the asshole who cuts you off, in a big fucking hurry to stop at the red light, or the guy that suddenly peels out of the parking lot known as the right lane. Another bunch of stupid drivers include those in pickup trucks; I have yet to meet one that doesn't drive like a redneck dick because they think they're invincible in those hulking things, even when they pit themselves against a bus or an 18-wheeler. There's also the sterotypical (yet true) elderly that creeps at 20 km/h on a 60 km/h road. The elderly should be respected as people, and be treated as a deadly hazard on the road which should be dealt with likewise.
The only thing worse than driving in Broadway is parking in Broadway, especially when you're forced to drive a chunky SUV like I did. I had to give up an otherwise perfect spot because the back is too wide to parallel park, like a fatass person trying to cut in front of a line-up. Good thing I finally found a 2-hour parking spot in front of a church in the neighborhood. THANK GOD!
So on my way back home, I thought I'd cut through downtown to get home via Hastings St. Unfortunately, not only do stupid people drive vehicles there, but they also walk the streets. In fact, the only thing worse than a stupid pedestrian is a stupid stealth pedestrian, who flies across the road dressed in invisible black at night, like some retarded ninja who thinks it'll benefit the clan to die a meaningless and fruitless death. But this is the daytime, so among the stupid pedestrians are foreigners, such as those on Robson St. God, they think that just because they're tourists or cab drivers from another country, it means that Canadian laws don't apply to them.
So managing to survive all the stupidity on Hastings, I now have to put up with the stupidity on the Barnet Highway. It's not only a highway with pretty scenery because it follows the coast of the Burrard Inlet and its surrounding green mountains, but also because of all the pretty memorial bouquets and wreaths, marking the place of death of all the stupid people who thought they'd get to where they want sooner if they floored it through the curves. This prompted my nickname for the Barnet Highway - "The Drive-Thru Cemetary". Unfortunately, they cleaned up all the markers because too many people got sick of the feeling of driving through a cemetary, so now there is nothing left to remind stupid people to slow down to a speed that is anywhere near the speed limit. In fact, seeing a van or an SUV pull off a two-wheeler isn't that an atypical sight there.
Well, that's enough bitching to last the next few months. I may have to go downtown every now and then, but from now on, there's no way I'm ever going to drive down Broadway if I deem it unneccessary.
It's not like I have a choice, since I can't take my car out until I've peeled off all the foreigners from my front bumper.
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 4:40 PM
2 Comments:
Quit Whining! I had to drive back and forth every day to UBC. Try dealing with Kansas drivers. At least traffic moves in big cities. It takes me 5 minutes to go a friggin mile around here!
Quit whining about me whining!! In case you haven't been paying attention, whining is the purpose of this blog! If you don't like to hear my whining, then simply DON'T visit!!
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