Let It Snow, You Fucking Lawyers!
It has been two and a half years since I've witnessed this marvel.
Snow. Lovely snow. Being in Miami for so long really made me miss it, miss it like a desert would miss rain. Just as the fog masks the rest of the world from your eyes, the snow mutes the rest of the world from your ears. This remarkable property enshrouds our inner sanctums in a silence that cannot be found anywhere else in the world, especially not in any tropical domains. A silence that is eerie yet beautiful. The silence of peace. The silence of death. Are they one and the same?
Either way, I still have to shovel the shit from my driveway.
I also have to take extra care in clearing out the segment of sidewalk in front of my house, lest some pedestrian slips and sues my family for all we've got. So while I'm carefully clearing my sidewalk of snow and silently cursing lawyers for making this country so litigious, I thought up a couple of nice and deeply philosophical Haikus. Unfortunately, I won't publish them here because I don't like people stealing my ideas, ideas which I will someday publish in a book to buy quality cardboard boxes to build my house if I don't find a job soon. The Haikus are good. Just take my word for it.
You don't have to take my word for it if you still don't think lawyers are the scum of humanity though, just read this story. This is why my favorite section of the newspapers is the Comics. In a nutshell, this guy gets acquitted of rape because he pleads "sexsomnia" - he raped his victim in his sleep and therefore is not accountable for his actions. The judge just sends the bastard off with the recommendation that he takes medication!
I live in a culture that has named more diseases than any other; Attention Deficit Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive Conpulsive Disorder, ____phobia, et cetera ad infinitum - but this has gone too far. Now there's one more plea you can add to your toolbox of pleas, in the compartment next to "insanity", for getting off scot-free on any crime. The courts in Toronto have sent a clear message to all evildoers: It's perfectly okay to rape a woman provided you plead "sexsomnia". I, for one, would have no problem with such a plea - provided that the prescribed treatment is castration.
I'm so pissed, I should've just laid down on the driveway and melted the snow off.
Snow. Lovely snow. Being in Miami for so long really made me miss it, miss it like a desert would miss rain. Just as the fog masks the rest of the world from your eyes, the snow mutes the rest of the world from your ears. This remarkable property enshrouds our inner sanctums in a silence that cannot be found anywhere else in the world, especially not in any tropical domains. A silence that is eerie yet beautiful. The silence of peace. The silence of death. Are they one and the same?
Either way, I still have to shovel the shit from my driveway.
I also have to take extra care in clearing out the segment of sidewalk in front of my house, lest some pedestrian slips and sues my family for all we've got. So while I'm carefully clearing my sidewalk of snow and silently cursing lawyers for making this country so litigious, I thought up a couple of nice and deeply philosophical Haikus. Unfortunately, I won't publish them here because I don't like people stealing my ideas, ideas which I will someday publish in a book to buy quality cardboard boxes to build my house if I don't find a job soon. The Haikus are good. Just take my word for it.
You don't have to take my word for it if you still don't think lawyers are the scum of humanity though, just read this story. This is why my favorite section of the newspapers is the Comics. In a nutshell, this guy gets acquitted of rape because he pleads "sexsomnia" - he raped his victim in his sleep and therefore is not accountable for his actions. The judge just sends the bastard off with the recommendation that he takes medication!
I live in a culture that has named more diseases than any other; Attention Deficit Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive Conpulsive Disorder, ____phobia, et cetera ad infinitum - but this has gone too far. Now there's one more plea you can add to your toolbox of pleas, in the compartment next to "insanity", for getting off scot-free on any crime. The courts in Toronto have sent a clear message to all evildoers: It's perfectly okay to rape a woman provided you plead "sexsomnia". I, for one, would have no problem with such a plea - provided that the prescribed treatment is castration.
I'm so pissed, I should've just laid down on the driveway and melted the snow off.
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 3:22 PM
3 Comments:
Now what, Vincent? Just when I was starting to think of going to law school in HK too. -___- I haven't started looking for a real job yet but can you believe that they ask for Mandarin, Cantonese, English and Japanese speaking secretaries with only a F.5 education!? And even if I were to become a legal translator, I might as well become a lawyer myself! -____-
So it snowed in Canada... I can't say that I miss home, but I sure miss the snow. >___<
With your qualifications you have to at least move to Toronto. A lot of my UBC classmates doing accounting and finance have gone east - or better yet, go East as in going to places like HK or Shanghai.
Technically, I think that's heading west, but yes, I think you should come out here, buddy.
No snow here. Was 26 degrees today. Shit.
Yeah, but if there's one good thing about this snow - snowboarding! And I'm sure as hell going to do a LOT of it, having invested in new equipment.
A secretary with those qualifications better be well-paid. If not, just seduce your wealthy boss and slap him (or the company, if you can) with a sexual harrassment lawsuit with the help of...lawyers!
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