Rise Of The Kokanee Warrior
Man, it's been a while since I was this wasted.
We were all supposed to go clubbing last night, and the reason being that my friend's friend, a sorority chick, is celebrating her birthday at this club called The Plaza and wants us to come. Even though we prepared by getting ourselves on a guestlist, we still ended up waiting in line outside for hours.
Then the sorority chick calls my friends about a change in plans, and that the party is actually going to be in another club. So we waited there outside for another hour while my friend tries to call the birthday girl. No answer. Maybe she's busy being tipped upside down on a beer keg or having her way with a frat boy. We gave up and decided to take our party home.
What is it with me and unreliable girls all the time?
To make matters worse, last night was the night UBC planned to have a massive power blackout for the entire campus. Something about maintenance on their powerhouse or some other bullshit. We were pissed off at our building administration for giving us notice about this at the last minute, as they obviously didn't think of the consequences it would have on the food in our refrigerators; some of us who just bought groceries were even more pissed!
It was creepy seeing the whole campus grounds as pitch black as the forests around it. Fortunately, some of the streetlights were still working, as they were part of the City's power grid. As expected, my building was totally dark except for the emergency floodlights in the hallways, and even those weren't expected to last long.
Oddly enough, our friend Sam's building, just next to mine, had its lights on and was perhaps the only building on the campus grounds that did not have a power blackout. Probably because it was on an independent power line than UBC's. So we decided to take our party there.
Oh, and by "party", I meant drinking games, as that was what we unanimously agreed upon, since we found that it can be a culturally educational experience for my German roommate and the Asian members of our group. We first played Have you ever...? which is pretty much the same as I never..., only that the prompt is different. Unfortunately, that game didn't last long, as the Asian girls were a little too shy for the sexually outrageous and scandalous questions that eventually floated around.
So the next game we played was much simpler. I don't have a name for it, but we just took a deck of cards and wrote down a list of actions/forfeits for each card value. Don't ask me what they were, as I don't have a sliver of a memory of that event. All I can remember is that most of them involved drinking. Anyway, this game is simple enough, which is good because a complex game would be impossible when you're piss drunk. We just passed the deck around, drew a card, and followed the instructions on the piece of paper.
Too bad we only brought one case of Kokanee. It ran out pretty soon, and so we had to switch to the harder stuff. As you may know, unless you're a pussy, a cup of mixed drinks will always have more alcohol than a cup of beer. We were oblivious to that fact. Hell, we found mixing too tedious, so we just gave up and poured the whiskey straight into the cup.
Bad idea.
We were so wasted, when my roommate asked me to pass the Kokanee box so he can put the empties away. I put it on his head instead, then took a picture. Soon everyone around the table wanted to put the box on their head, to the point where I wanted to do it myself. Being impaired in my motor skills, I ended up pulling my head all the way into the box, and the holes that make the handle of the box for carrying also made a good visor.
Thus, the Kokanee Warrior was born!
Oh yeah, baby. For the longest time, that photo will be my profile photo on MSN Messenger. That's all I remember about the events that unfolded at Sam's place. As for after that, I walked some of the girls home across campus just to be safe, even though the sun was coming up. I ended up passing out on my friend's couch, so she stuck a note on me explaining who I am and why I'm on the couch, to avoid freaking out her roommates.
Ugh, now I remember why it's been so long since I got this wasted.
We were all supposed to go clubbing last night, and the reason being that my friend's friend, a sorority chick, is celebrating her birthday at this club called The Plaza and wants us to come. Even though we prepared by getting ourselves on a guestlist, we still ended up waiting in line outside for hours.
Then the sorority chick calls my friends about a change in plans, and that the party is actually going to be in another club. So we waited there outside for another hour while my friend tries to call the birthday girl. No answer. Maybe she's busy being tipped upside down on a beer keg or having her way with a frat boy. We gave up and decided to take our party home.
What is it with me and unreliable girls all the time?
To make matters worse, last night was the night UBC planned to have a massive power blackout for the entire campus. Something about maintenance on their powerhouse or some other bullshit. We were pissed off at our building administration for giving us notice about this at the last minute, as they obviously didn't think of the consequences it would have on the food in our refrigerators; some of us who just bought groceries were even more pissed!
It was creepy seeing the whole campus grounds as pitch black as the forests around it. Fortunately, some of the streetlights were still working, as they were part of the City's power grid. As expected, my building was totally dark except for the emergency floodlights in the hallways, and even those weren't expected to last long.
Oddly enough, our friend Sam's building, just next to mine, had its lights on and was perhaps the only building on the campus grounds that did not have a power blackout. Probably because it was on an independent power line than UBC's. So we decided to take our party there.
Oh, and by "party", I meant drinking games, as that was what we unanimously agreed upon, since we found that it can be a culturally educational experience for my German roommate and the Asian members of our group. We first played Have you ever...? which is pretty much the same as I never..., only that the prompt is different. Unfortunately, that game didn't last long, as the Asian girls were a little too shy for the sexually outrageous and scandalous questions that eventually floated around.
So the next game we played was much simpler. I don't have a name for it, but we just took a deck of cards and wrote down a list of actions/forfeits for each card value. Don't ask me what they were, as I don't have a sliver of a memory of that event. All I can remember is that most of them involved drinking. Anyway, this game is simple enough, which is good because a complex game would be impossible when you're piss drunk. We just passed the deck around, drew a card, and followed the instructions on the piece of paper.
Too bad we only brought one case of Kokanee. It ran out pretty soon, and so we had to switch to the harder stuff. As you may know, unless you're a pussy, a cup of mixed drinks will always have more alcohol than a cup of beer. We were oblivious to that fact. Hell, we found mixing too tedious, so we just gave up and poured the whiskey straight into the cup.
Bad idea.
We were so wasted, when my roommate asked me to pass the Kokanee box so he can put the empties away. I put it on his head instead, then took a picture. Soon everyone around the table wanted to put the box on their head, to the point where I wanted to do it myself. Being impaired in my motor skills, I ended up pulling my head all the way into the box, and the holes that make the handle of the box for carrying also made a good visor.
Thus, the Kokanee Warrior was born!
Oh yeah, baby. For the longest time, that photo will be my profile photo on MSN Messenger. That's all I remember about the events that unfolded at Sam's place. As for after that, I walked some of the girls home across campus just to be safe, even though the sun was coming up. I ended up passing out on my friend's couch, so she stuck a note on me explaining who I am and why I'm on the couch, to avoid freaking out her roommates.
Ugh, now I remember why it's been so long since I got this wasted.
Fighting to defend the rights of the alcoholic and fashionably challenged!
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 1:02 AM
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