My Purple-Haired Mama
It has begun.
She is becoming one of them. I sort of got the hint that this kind of thing was going to happen when she came home from the hair stylist with red highlights in her hair. Now it's starting to tint towards the purple end of the spectrum. This is it. My mom will join the ranks of nearly all Asian women at her stage in life.
Why must they dye their hair purple? Is it an attempt to resolve their mid-life crisis through the re-enactment of adolescent rebellion, in hopes that their delusional state of youth will somehow avert the complications of old age? Or is the purple hair simply a diversion from their faces, which they find hideous because the first wrinkles have begun radiating from their facial features? Or could it be denial, in its purest form, of the inevitability of graying hair and old age?
But these conjectures don't explain why these women have unanimously chosen purple for their hair color. Why not green, or pink? Could it be an evil cadre of hair stylists plotting to turn every Asian woman into clowns? Well, unless the conspirators can find a way to convince them that purple hair would make their skin prettier, or their figures slimmer, it's not likely that the otherwise practical Asian woman would opt for the California Raisin look.
Ergo, there's only one logical explanation - genetics. Just as every woman has a gene in their X-chromosomes that kick in at around 40 years of age compelling them to get a perm, Asian women has an additional gene that compels them to dye it purple once they hit around 50 years. This would make perfect sense, as not every woman does this to their hair, which is because their expression of these genes are not as strong as in others.
So let that be a lesson to all of you punks: The next time you think you're a badass, take a walk in Chinatown!
She is becoming one of them. I sort of got the hint that this kind of thing was going to happen when she came home from the hair stylist with red highlights in her hair. Now it's starting to tint towards the purple end of the spectrum. This is it. My mom will join the ranks of nearly all Asian women at her stage in life.
Why must they dye their hair purple? Is it an attempt to resolve their mid-life crisis through the re-enactment of adolescent rebellion, in hopes that their delusional state of youth will somehow avert the complications of old age? Or is the purple hair simply a diversion from their faces, which they find hideous because the first wrinkles have begun radiating from their facial features? Or could it be denial, in its purest form, of the inevitability of graying hair and old age?
But these conjectures don't explain why these women have unanimously chosen purple for their hair color. Why not green, or pink? Could it be an evil cadre of hair stylists plotting to turn every Asian woman into clowns? Well, unless the conspirators can find a way to convince them that purple hair would make their skin prettier, or their figures slimmer, it's not likely that the otherwise practical Asian woman would opt for the California Raisin look.
Ergo, there's only one logical explanation - genetics. Just as every woman has a gene in their X-chromosomes that kick in at around 40 years of age compelling them to get a perm, Asian women has an additional gene that compels them to dye it purple once they hit around 50 years. This would make perfect sense, as not every woman does this to their hair, which is because their expression of these genes are not as strong as in others.
So let that be a lesson to all of you punks: The next time you think you're a badass, take a walk in Chinatown!
posted by Cosmic Ocean at 6:51 PM
3 Comments:
Mom is just showing K-State pride.
esthetically I am out there with the Heian aristocrats who insisted that one of the hallmarks of feminine beauty is a head of long straight shiny black hair. But when it comes to dyeing hair, I have noticed that it is my father who is the only enthusiast there is in the family. He dyes his hair black often to appear younger, leaving disgusting stains in the bathtub which I (yes, *I*)have to scrub. Male vanity! -___-
Straight long hair is a turn-on for me, so I agree. Not that women with other hair types are automatically unattractive. (Beggars can't be choosers, after all, heheh.)
At least your dad's not balding and wearing a blatant rug. Not that mine is either.
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